BY KIMBERLY JAHNS
After reflecting on the thoughts on which I focus most of my energy, I realized how negative my thinking has become. Some might say I have a much more realistic view point of the world, but I feel like, by trying to be realistic, I have sucked all the positivity out of my thought processes. Being positive, having fun and laughing through life can actually be a healthy way to deal with it.
Instead of reading 300 plus more words about what I think about happiness, positivity and laughter, I thought I would include some of my favorite, humorous quotes in the article. I apologize for all the quotes being from male comedians. There are numerous, hilarious female comedians, I just randomly picked quotes, and these are the ones I chose.
Discussing issues of war, economy and social issues is important, but they will probably still be there when you are done reading this article. Sometimes we just need a moment to focus on something calmer, happier, than our usual thought process to realize there is more to life than problems. There are solutions—and happiness. Don’t forget happiness.
(The following quotes were found from the respective comedian’s stand up material.)
- “At time it makes it seem like they’re dragging Church out on purpose, ‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’ ‘Amen already! Let’s wrap it up, I got some sinnin’ to do!’” – Jim Gaffigan
- “C-sections are like the DiGiorno of pregnancy. Because it’s not delivery…” – Nick Thune
- “Scuba-diving. A great activity where your main goal is to…not die. It’s really all I was thinking about the entire day. So I go with this guy… Mister Scooba-Guy. He takes me to the store, makes sure I buy everything I need…I had the waterproof wallet… nylon…in case we run into a sea turtle that can break a $50 Waterproof watch…That’s important, gee… ‘You’re completely out of oxygen and look at the time.’ ‘Geez, now I’m dead and I’m late.’” – Jerry Seinfeld
- “I keep all the rooms in my house set to room temperature. But all my corners, they’re set to ninety degrees.” – Nick Thune
- “This morning I woke up with a bloody nose. What if I said that with a British accent? It would sound like some British guy just woke up and realized, ‘I’ve got a frickin’ nose!’” – Nick Thune
- “I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” – Rodney Dangerfield
- “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
- “My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.” – Rodney Dangerfield
- “You can’t call anybody anymore. If you call someone, they be like: ‘What? Are you on fire? Then quit wasting my time, text me that shit.’” – Aziz Ansari
- “My perfect date night: I pick you up—in my Kia Sorrento. You get in. There’s candles in the car. You go ‘Is that dangerous?” and I go, ‘Yes… but I like danger.’ We go to your favorite restaurant, and we have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my car’s on fire. You go, ‘Aziz, your car’s on fire. Aren’t you upset?’ I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, ‘No. I knew this was gonna happen.’ And then I kiss you—in front of my burning car.” – Aziz Ansari
- “What am I supposed to say when an Atheist sneezes? Uh, when you die, nothing happens?” –Dane Cook
- “I hate the phrase ‘One thing led to another.’ What kind of lazy writing is that? Isn’t it your job as a writer to tell me how that made this happen? ‘Adolf Hitler was rejected as a young man in his application to an art school. One thing led to another and the United States ended up dropping two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan.” – Brian Regan