Which Hilariously Named Paint Color Are You?

SAMANTHA KOLB | ENTERTAINMENT COLUMNIST

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We all know spring is just around the corner (hopefully) for us Wisconsinites, and that means spring flowers, spring sunshine and spring cleaning! I’m talking about painting! And what better way to find that perfect color for you than to have it match your personality via quiz? Find that perfect color for you with just a few quick questions! Enjoy!

1. What is your favorite season?

A. Fall

B. Winter

C. Spring

D. Summer

2. How would you describe yourself?

A. Hilarious, even if I’m the only one laughing at my jokes.

B. Somber and probably pretty dark.

C. Cheerful and almost annoyingly peppy!

D. Relaxed and goes with the flow.

3. Pick a funny name for a paint color.

A. You’ll Never Take Me Alive COPPER

B. The Eternal Darkness That Will One Day Consume Us All

C. Blond. James Blond.

D. Ugly Living Room. (Seriously. Don’t.)

4. Pick a favorite summer activity:

A. CANNONBALL! (Sploosh!)

B. I’m not a huge fan of this thing called “summer.”

C. The bright sunshine and warm afternoons.

D. Relaxing and doing whatever you want.

5. You’re almost done with this quiz! How do you feel?

A. I’m about ready to go to the answer page and pick which one I want, dang it!

B. You know, just ready for it to be over. . . Everything eventually ends.

C. Excited to see my results! I’m sure it will be hilarious!

D. I’m wasting time taking this when I should be writing a paper. But hey, sure, I’m excited.

6. What are your thoughts on spring?

A. If it would ever make up its mind I’m sure it would be great.

B. It’s the ending of winter. *Sigh*

C. SPRIIIIIING! SUPER PUMPED!

D. Spring break, need I say more?

7. I can’t think of any more questions. You ready for your results?

A. I already know. I peeked at question 2.

B. It’s over already?

C. Sounds good to me!

D. Yeah, sure, whatever.

If you’re mostly A’s, you got: “Help! I’m A Ghost! They’re Liquefying Us For Our Pure White Color! THEY MUST BE STOPPED! OH GOD PLEASE HELP!!!! Hahahaha JK I’m Not A Ghost. It’s Just Me, Jeff, The Guy Who Names These Paint Colors.”

Yes, this is an actual color somewhere. You’re a joker and you just want to have some fun in life. Some people are too serious and you know your witty antics will put a smile to their faces. Whether or not you want to paint your dining room the color of a liquefied ghost is up for debate, but I’m sure you’ll still have an essence of Jeff, The Guy Who Names Paint Colors no matter what you do in life.

If you’re mostly B’s, you got: “The Color Of My Tears When ‘FRIENDS’ Ended.”

Oh dear. You poor thing. You can’t seem to get over something from a decade ago, huh? Try not to be too depressing for the rest of us, but we can understand sometimes being a gloomy shade of lavender is what’s best for you. Try to cheer up, buddy, and be more like the Mostly C’s crowd.

If you’re mostly C’s, you got: “Yellow, Is It Me You’re Looking For?”

Not surprisingly, you’re an almost obnoxiously bright individual bent on bringing some sunshine into the lives of others. We appreciate your rays of sunshine, for though you strive to bring smiles to all the Grumpy Cats of the world, sometimes your efforts are in vain. Still, at least you have a quiz in a newspaper giving you a firm thumbs up for your attempt.

If you’re mostly D’s, you got: “Olive-ia Newton John”

As a mellow shade of green, you like things to be taken easy. You wouldn’t mind lazy afternoons and Netflix abound, and much like the Australian you’re named after you have a sunny smile on your face most of the time and enjoy being a good friend. Nice work, Olive-ia. Nice work.

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