Your Move or Mine?


This was the first article I had ever written for the St. Norbert Times four years ago. In my reflection of the past four years, I thought about this article and where I was in life when I wrote it. It’s crazy how different your mind set can be in a span of four years. This article seemed to be interesting or supportive to a few readers four years ago, so I hope it is still interesting or supportive to someone now. 

“Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?”  “Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.” In regards to heterosexual relationships, there are so many ways a guy can ask a girl out, so why are women now having to ask?

Women are constantly fighting to be treated as equals to men and will take any chance they can get to prove their equality. When making the first move comes up, women will think if men can do it, they can too, but women have nothing to prove. Women are strong in their own ways and have shown in many other scenarios that they are capable of doing more than making the first move.

My feelings may be outdated, but it’s nice to feel wanted or at least to be flattered by someone asking you for a date. Women do not need to control every situation; sometimes letting go and trusting others makes for a more enjoyable time.

Even if the guy asking is not the most amazing man in the world, women should realize how much courage it takes to ask someone out. They should also appreciate what a compliment it is to be asked out in the first place. Women need to loosen up a little and let themselves be taken care of, instead of becoming the dictator of the relationship. They need to learn to appreciate what their partner can do, as well.

Women also need to relax when guys do chivalrous things. Yes, women could open the door for themselves or pull out their own chair, but these small actions represent the great amount of respect the man has for you. Not only do these actions show his kindness but also his need for the woman to feel comfortable.

Men need to step it up and bring back the chivalry; actually walking up to a girl, taking a risk and asking her out, not chickening out and asking her through texting.

If a man ever asks you out through text, just say no. Asking someone out through texting requires little to no effort and says you were not worth the extra effort to be asked out in person. Instead they will just use an “lol” and a smiley face to make the text acceptable. Just remember as easily as that text was sent, it is also as easy to delete, so ask in person.

To all the male readers, just take a deep breath and do it. Yes, the girl could say no, but she could also say “Yes.” The reward seems to always outweigh the risk. If Buddy the Elf from the movie “Elf,” who has the emotional capacity of a second grader, can ask a girl out, I’m sure 18+-year-old men can do it too.

Now get out there and ask the girl out, and if you need a push just think of yourself in five years in the same place you are now: alone. The only way to truly experience life is to get out there and live it. Besides, maybe the perfect girl is right around the corner ,and all you have to do is walk up to her and say: “Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.”

…but hey, that’s just my opinon.


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